just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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