I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
