There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
