What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
