Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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