In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
