I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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