Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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