ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
