Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
where am i from again
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
