i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
