And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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