Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
