Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
