Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I will be naked everywhere
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
