Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
