some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My cat gives me a boner
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
