just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
