so that wasnt chicken after all
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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