Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
