So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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