You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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