I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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