mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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