I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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