Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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