sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
