Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just had sex on a roof
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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