My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
