I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
