did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize