There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
