? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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