maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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