can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
