girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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