The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
