well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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