i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
