so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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