he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
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