You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Everything about him screamed your future.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
