Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
