i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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