Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
