I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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