Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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