I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
