where am i from again
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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