Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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