I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
