I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
