the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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