Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
