What a fucking waste of an outfit
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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