her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
