let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
