I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There r osticjed everywhere
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
