im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
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Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
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Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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