oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
