You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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